Elders

Hello fellow readers,

Today I wish to discuss grandparents/elders. I want to apologize now for those

 who did not get to know their grandparents or have lost their grandparents, I 

hope I don’t stir up old memories that hurt.

Over the years of working as a receptionist I had a lot of older people come in 

for help. Often times, they enjoyed telling me their life’s stories: where they 

worked, what they did, for how long, how many children and grandchildren they 

have, and they would tell me as much as they could while I did my job. I’ve heard 

so many grandparents come in and speak highly of their grandchildren who have 

grown up, or those they take care of. I’ve had a few grandkids running through 

the office opening the priests’ office doors and doodling on our scratch paper, but 

a lot of them don’t know how lucky they are to be making memories with their 

grandparents. Yet, there were some grandparents who mention how disconnected 

their family became when their kids grew up. I had a few grandparents tell me that 

their kids or grandkids tend not to answer their phone calls, and seeing the sadness

 in their face hurt.

The last time I saw my grandparents from my dad’s side was when I was 11 years 

old and traveled to Mexico to see them. After that visit, my grandma grew very ill

 and my dad’s siblings had to take care of her on their own. She died in 2016 and

 I never really got to know her… I know her through my family, from the stories 

they tell. My grandpa is still alive, but I have not had the opportunity to return to 

Mexico and get to know him. One thing I know for sure, he always loved to dance

 (Cha Cha mostly) and was very good at it. When he found out I swing dance and got

 to see videos of me dancing, it made him so happy that someone got his dancing 

genes! The simple fact that I dance like he did, made him so happy, which proves 

how little it takes to make a connection.

My grandparents from my mom’s side (plus my uncle) all live driving distance from

 us. While in college, my uncle and both my grandparents fell ill one right after the 

other. Since then, my mom took charge in taking care of my grandparents. She was 

constantly visiting them in the hospital and driving them around. She not only feeds,

 cleans, and drives them whenever possible, but she also works part-time as an 

instructional aid for special education for a middle school. Watching her running 

back and forth, taking care of my grandparents, made me realize just how much she

 goes through to provide and just how sudden things could take a turn for the worse.

Taken at a wedding in September 

From then on, I started answering my grandparent's phone calls and going to visit

 them, which I’d been neglecting to do previously. I tried helping my mom as often

 as I could whether it’s going through their kitchen to get rid of old, expired foods, 

or taking out the trash, or just distracting them so she could clean something. I am

 not extremely involved, but I do what I can and see a lot. I remember there was a 

saying that when you grow old you go through your “second childhood,” and that 

couldn’t be more true. Both my grandparents act more like children than adults. It

 can be adorable and irritating. They take care of themselves for the most part, but 

when my mom’s around they start yelling at her about things she needs to do before 

she could even say, "hello." My grandpa especially tends to throw tantrums often 

when he doesn’t get what he wants and my grandma has no filter over her mouth, 

she says whatever she wants when she wants even if it’s hurtful.

On more than one occasion my mom has told me with an extremely tired face and 

overwhelmed eyes, “I thought I was done raising kids.” Yet, my mom is dedicated 

to my grandparents, checking in on a daily basis, setting up appointments and 

transportation, cooking, cleaning, translating, and the list goes on! Not to mention, 

she still comes home to care for my dad and I, although I do my best to do what I 

can in the house for her. I admire my mom for all that she does for my grandparents

 and I love my grandparents despite how they act, I only wish there was more I could

 do, but simply showing up to visit puts a smile on their faces and that’s enough for 

me. When we focus on living our lives we tend to neglect our elders, the folks who 

were around long before us and we forget to take time and admire them.

So if you’re like me, stop avoiding your elders. You don’t need to do tremendous acts

 of kindness to make them smile, it may only take a phone call or a quick visit to be 

the highlight of their day. You never know when they’re no longer going to be there

 so you might as well make today count.

“Find your grandparents or someone of age

Pay some respect for the path that they paved

To life, they were dedicated

Now, that should be celebrated” 

- lyrics from Neon Gravestones by Twenty One Pilots, Trench album

(The song is unrelated to my topic except for this portion, but it is a beautiful song)

Live every day to the fullest.

Love, Damaris

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